A Wonderful Opportunity to Teach Our Kids About…..Vampires and Sex….
A Really Teachable Moment!
Ditch the Dish…. and DON’T get the whole picture!
A Really Teachable Moment!
Ditch the Dish…. and DON’T get the whole picture!
Part I
I was somewhat irritated (that’s an understatement) when I decided to write this post. I thought about naming it many different things. Three of the names are recorded above…several others didn’t make the cut as I realized they were emotionally charged responses emanating from the dark part of the (I guess mine) human psyche.
So what got my eyre up? Well the other week I was in Chicago on business and when I called home one night to check out the situation on the home front my beautiful wife relayed an experience she’d had that afternoon that had her, to say the least, uh…. frustrated. She went down the driveway with my daughters (4 years old and 3 years old) to get the mail, like they do each afternoon, and as usual, they each asked if they could carry a piece of mail back up the driveway. Well fortunately, she glanced at the piece of mail in her hand seconds before my older daughter grabbed it, and was able to exchange it for another piece.
Now the pictures above show it just as it arrived in my mailbox. After unfolding it – per the handy instructions on the side – it was even worse. (Bad enough that I decided not to include those pictures here.)
So after a short rant about the evils of HBO, Showtime, and the entertainment industry in general, I did what any normal person (who secretly might have enjoyed being and undercover reporter) would have done. I decided to call Dish Network (DN) and seek their advice. So here’s how the call went.
DN – Hi are you currently a DN subscriber?
LM – No, but I did get an interesting advertisement from you in the mail the other day I’d like to ask you about.
DN – Sure may I please have your home telephone # beginning with the area code.
LM – Sure, XXX-XXX-XXXX
DN – Okay Sir, how can I help you?
LM – Well I got an ad from you in the mail the other day, and it showed a scene from the HBO series True Blood, on one side and on the other side it showed a picture of the lady from the Showtime show Weeds.
DN – OK
LM – Well the side with the True Blood guy on it showed a very nice 4 color glossy of a vampire, fangs exposed, about to bite the throat of a very scantily clad, beautiful woman – who by the way didn’t seem to concerned with the advent of immortal vampirism.
DN – OK
LM – So my question is if you have any advice for explaining that scene to a 4 year old little girl?
DN – So sorry Sir, I don’t really understand what you’re asking. Do you want to sign up for a plan with HBO? (Obviously very puzzled)
LM – No really I was just looking for some advice. See you sent me this ad in the mail and since my daughter usually gets the mail with my wife I was wondering if you had any thoughts or ideas about how to explain this graphic picture of a man with fangs about to bite the throat of a scantily clad woman to a 4 year old. I mean you sent it out in the mail – so I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s called with this question. I bet you probably already have a prepared response for calls like this from your marketing department. Just take a moment and look for it. Maybe search the database under vampires and kids that should come up with something good.
DN – Sir can I place you on hold for just a moment?
LM – Certainly.
About 2 minutes later…..
DN – Sir I’m sorry about this would you like us to stop sending advertisements to your address.
LM – Well that’s another issue, but what I’d really like is to talk to someone else, perhaps your supervisor?
DN – Yes Sir. Please hold on while I transfer you.
This time about 3 minutes…..I thought about just hanging up.
DN – Hello Sir, thank-you for holding. I understand that you would like us to stop sending advertisements to your house?
LM – No that’s not really it. Here’s what I would like. The other day your company sent an advertisement to my house through the U.S. Mail, that almost ended up in the hands of my 4-year-old daughter. The ad contained pictures of vampires that were extremely inappropriate for a young child to see, not to mention an adult – but I guess that’s business – and I’d just like the opportunity to discuss this Direct Mail campaign with someone else, perhaps someone in Dish’s Public Relations department, a company spokesman, or maybe someone in marketing.
DN – I’m sorry Sir, we don’t have any of those departments. We do have a Customer Service Department and I am a Supervisor in the Customer Service Department, and you are talking to me.
LM – Oh, well that’s good to know. (By the way this entire exchange was done in my most cheerful tone.) Since you don’t have any of those departments is there anyway to get feedback to your company about this Ad you sent me.
DN – Yes Sir, would you like to provide feedback by email or in writing?
LM – Email would be fine.
DN – Sir, please send your comments to feedback@customermail.dishnetwork.com
LM – Thank you, you’ve been most helpful.
DN – Sir is there anything else I can help you with this evening?
LM – No thank you. Good bye.
Well, that’s how the call went. I plan to email them this evening, and I’ll let you know what (if anything) they say.
Well I’ll conclude this with a slight twist, and then update you with another post if I get a response.
Since I’m someone who also has an interest in sales and marketing, and I understand marketing campaigns, how they’re designed, and how they’re measured on a revenue based scale, I wondered a little about this one. In general, mass-mailings are (or are becoming) a thing of the past. Behavior based marketing, and population segment based campaigns are quickly supplanting the mass-media-mailings of the past. For one reason they are much more cost effective, and for another reason they are much more cost effective. (That’s two good reasons in case you didn’t notice) Well anyway, I thought it was interesting that Dish spent their money sending a marketing piece to someone like me who: doesn’t have cable, doesn’t have satellite, doesn’t really watch any TV, and probably doesn’t even own an FCC compliant TV.
Upon relaying my conversation with the DN Customer Service Supervisor to my lovely wife, she asked if I had at least told then not to send any more of their filthy ads to our address?
I was somewhat irritated (that’s an understatement) when I decided to write this post. I thought about naming it many different things. Three of the names are recorded above…several others didn’t make the cut as I realized they were emotionally charged responses emanating from the dark part of the (I guess mine) human psyche.
So what got my eyre up? Well the other week I was in Chicago on business and when I called home one night to check out the situation on the home front my beautiful wife relayed an experience she’d had that afternoon that had her, to say the least, uh…. frustrated. She went down the driveway with my daughters (4 years old and 3 years old) to get the mail, like they do each afternoon, and as usual, they each asked if they could carry a piece of mail back up the driveway. Well fortunately, she glanced at the piece of mail in her hand seconds before my older daughter grabbed it, and was able to exchange it for another piece.
Now the pictures above show it just as it arrived in my mailbox. After unfolding it – per the handy instructions on the side – it was even worse. (Bad enough that I decided not to include those pictures here.)
So after a short rant about the evils of HBO, Showtime, and the entertainment industry in general, I did what any normal person (who secretly might have enjoyed being and undercover reporter) would have done. I decided to call Dish Network (DN) and seek their advice. So here’s how the call went.
DN – Hi are you currently a DN subscriber?
LM – No, but I did get an interesting advertisement from you in the mail the other day I’d like to ask you about.
DN – Sure may I please have your home telephone # beginning with the area code.
LM – Sure, XXX-XXX-XXXX
DN – Okay Sir, how can I help you?
LM – Well I got an ad from you in the mail the other day, and it showed a scene from the HBO series True Blood, on one side and on the other side it showed a picture of the lady from the Showtime show Weeds.
DN – OK
LM – Well the side with the True Blood guy on it showed a very nice 4 color glossy of a vampire, fangs exposed, about to bite the throat of a very scantily clad, beautiful woman – who by the way didn’t seem to concerned with the advent of immortal vampirism.
DN – OK
LM – So my question is if you have any advice for explaining that scene to a 4 year old little girl?
DN – So sorry Sir, I don’t really understand what you’re asking. Do you want to sign up for a plan with HBO? (Obviously very puzzled)
LM – No really I was just looking for some advice. See you sent me this ad in the mail and since my daughter usually gets the mail with my wife I was wondering if you had any thoughts or ideas about how to explain this graphic picture of a man with fangs about to bite the throat of a scantily clad woman to a 4 year old. I mean you sent it out in the mail – so I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s called with this question. I bet you probably already have a prepared response for calls like this from your marketing department. Just take a moment and look for it. Maybe search the database under vampires and kids that should come up with something good.
DN – Sir can I place you on hold for just a moment?
LM – Certainly.
About 2 minutes later…..
DN – Sir I’m sorry about this would you like us to stop sending advertisements to your address.
LM – Well that’s another issue, but what I’d really like is to talk to someone else, perhaps your supervisor?
DN – Yes Sir. Please hold on while I transfer you.
This time about 3 minutes…..I thought about just hanging up.
DN – Hello Sir, thank-you for holding. I understand that you would like us to stop sending advertisements to your house?
LM – No that’s not really it. Here’s what I would like. The other day your company sent an advertisement to my house through the U.S. Mail, that almost ended up in the hands of my 4-year-old daughter. The ad contained pictures of vampires that were extremely inappropriate for a young child to see, not to mention an adult – but I guess that’s business – and I’d just like the opportunity to discuss this Direct Mail campaign with someone else, perhaps someone in Dish’s Public Relations department, a company spokesman, or maybe someone in marketing.
DN – I’m sorry Sir, we don’t have any of those departments. We do have a Customer Service Department and I am a Supervisor in the Customer Service Department, and you are talking to me.
LM – Oh, well that’s good to know. (By the way this entire exchange was done in my most cheerful tone.) Since you don’t have any of those departments is there anyway to get feedback to your company about this Ad you sent me.
DN – Yes Sir, would you like to provide feedback by email or in writing?
LM – Email would be fine.
DN – Sir, please send your comments to feedback@customermail.dishnetwork.com
LM – Thank you, you’ve been most helpful.
DN – Sir is there anything else I can help you with this evening?
LM – No thank you. Good bye.
Well, that’s how the call went. I plan to email them this evening, and I’ll let you know what (if anything) they say.
Well I’ll conclude this with a slight twist, and then update you with another post if I get a response.
Since I’m someone who also has an interest in sales and marketing, and I understand marketing campaigns, how they’re designed, and how they’re measured on a revenue based scale, I wondered a little about this one. In general, mass-mailings are (or are becoming) a thing of the past. Behavior based marketing, and population segment based campaigns are quickly supplanting the mass-media-mailings of the past. For one reason they are much more cost effective, and for another reason they are much more cost effective. (That’s two good reasons in case you didn’t notice) Well anyway, I thought it was interesting that Dish spent their money sending a marketing piece to someone like me who: doesn’t have cable, doesn’t have satellite, doesn’t really watch any TV, and probably doesn’t even own an FCC compliant TV.
Upon relaying my conversation with the DN Customer Service Supervisor to my lovely wife, she asked if I had at least told then not to send any more of their filthy ads to our address?
After thinking about it for a while…I realized that that was definitely not the move to make. Instead, giving careful consideration to the fact that since I’m neither a customer, nor likely to become one any time soon, they likely don’t care about me anyway… As well as reflecting on the overall lack of satisfaction and justice I felt I’d gained out of the whole experience……I decided that the closest I could come to a sense of justice was to instead continue receiving their ads, with the knowledge that they were continuing to waste their money on each piece of mail they sent to my house, as well as on a less-than-stellar, non-targeted marketing campaign.
Oh, and of course one final note to keep within the general limitations of this blog. If you do have Dish Network, (or any other service that provides HBO and Showtime) why not turn it off for a night and instead read a good book (I have a suggestion if you need one). You’ll feel much better for you efforts if you do.
God Bless,
LM
Oh, and of course one final note to keep within the general limitations of this blog. If you do have Dish Network, (or any other service that provides HBO and Showtime) why not turn it off for a night and instead read a good book (I have a suggestion if you need one). You’ll feel much better for you efforts if you do.
God Bless,
LM
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